Holy Halitosis! Can You Tell We've Lost Some Weight?! (or, if you can't take the heat, don't so much as look in our kitchen)

Sometimes shedding a few aggravating pounds really gives ya that kick you've been needin', ya know? December has been just that month for us...we abruptly lost some weight and then realized how good it felt to not have it anymore. Now's the time to start turning that loose skin into some extra muscle. We'll you keep you posted on how that goes...

But in the meantime, we are looking for two dynamite interns to start helping out here at Hydra Headquarters on a regular basis. Now, before you get all excited to be getting into shows, hanging with all the “hot” bands, and going home with free records from the best fucking label you know, please take a step back and ask yourself if you are a reliable, intelligent and motivated individual. If you opted to not place a check mark next to each of those adjectives (well, to be fair, one of them is a transitive verb) then don’t waste our time. Shit’s on fire here folks, and we’re getting sick of flakes….

Ways to be added to our “Intern Wall of Clowns”*

-show up late, don’t do anything productive. Eat a whole bag of cookies instead of lunch.
-stop showing up the day after being given a Hydra Head email address and a few important responsibilities.
-pretend you handle your business like a professional, but then cease the professional correspondence because the outcome is not to your liking.
-leave notes on projects stating “I can’t do this” and then go home without telling us you’re incapable of simple tasks.
-cause paid employees to throw a phone at your head.
-write false reviews of your experience on your college’s credit
-leave office with rug burn on head.
-spend your time at the office IM’ing friends or working on non-Hydra Head projects.

Intern duties can consist of pretty much just about anything. Expect to participate in some of the following actions: preparing various mailings (press, tour, retail), calling stores, running errands, laughing at our bad jokes, straightening up the office, folding t-shirts, arranging tour ticket buys, web related tasks, etc..

Things that increase your chances of being involved:
-you must live near the 90039 zip code and have a car.
-we prefer college students that can obtain credit through the internship.
-we expect some familiarity with our artists and the label.
-a passion about working in the music industry, and more importantly, with an independent record label
-familiarity with Word, Excel, Outlook, telephones and the internet is preferable.
-if you are in school for design and have skills with Quark, Photoshop, and Illustrator. (We’ve got one of those dudes here that is a wicked good designer who could use an assistant to create simple onesheets, stickers, pins, and perhaps more if you show promise on the aesthetic front.)
-an understanding that this is not all fun and games, and if you commit to helping out then we expect you to actually be of help.
-your hours of availability may be flexible as long as you are consistent and someone we can count on. We are generally here from 9am to 7pm M-F (occasionally on weekends too).

If you think you fit, email mark@hydrahead.com and tell him why....

*although the list is entirely factual, the wall does not yet exist.