Posted by Hydra Headlines × 7:25 PM
Okay, its a new year and we need new blood in the office. Which means we need interns to supply said blood in quantities comparable to the Peoples Temple. Ritualistic mass suicide is cool now, right? anyway, if you think you have what it takes to survive in our office full of fucktards, please contact us. But before we go any further, you need to meet the following criteria:
• Live close to the 90029 area code and have a vehicle that has headlights.
• Possess the ability to keep a predictable schedule.
• Be of legal age to except massive amounts of verbal abuse
• Fully comprehend the meaning of "Fun" and all its variations and verbiage.
• Except the fact that you will be taking on random yet important boring everyday jobs around the office.
James is also looking for his own Graphic Design orientated intern, should you inquire, you additionally need:
• Slight computer graphics ability and knowledge of programs such as but not limited to:
- I am too lazy to list the rest
• Preferably be in school and have the ability to receive school credit
• Be able to follow instructions from multiple sources and prioritize
• Have your own Laptop, we will not supply you with a computer or programs
• Be able to hold extensive conversations about Eerie Materials
• You do not need prior experience, or a portfolio
To find out more about the general intern position and/or apply, please email Bryce (email@example.com) and Wes (firstname.lastname@example.org). For the graphic design intern position, email@example.com will do. In both cases, please tell us alittle about yourself and stupid generic "job interview"-isque factoids that we will just discard anyway cause we ain't picky. We can't pay you in legal tender but you will receive possible friendships that could last the ages and defy standard conventions and "tons of free shit", that if you put on eBay, will result in your immediate termination (job-wise, not life-wise).
Thanks for getting this far.