We Are Not Happy With Chel Vanin

He eats Starburst Jelly Beans from a Attie's dog bowl.

He flashes cars and almost kills his wife in the process.

He also has not been showing up for work on time...and on some days he does not show up at all.  This is the sort of email he sends us at nearly 3pm yesterday:

Subject: Sorry....
Message: I'm leaving now.   Michele's alarm setting skills leave something to be desired.   I took an nap when I got home from work last night and woke up at 2am.   Couldn't fall back asleep till well after it was light out.   I left my phone there last night and figured I wouldn't need it so I didn't go back for it.    I'll be there as quick as the train allows.

Please help.  We need to know how to deal with him.  Got any advice?  WE DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM!

On a side note, he did finally get the new Chel's List completed...